Update

Dr. N looked at my foot for less than 30 seconds and was able to tell that the tumor is back.  Surgery is scheduled for November 17.  Again a 2 month recovery period.  Feeling pretty bummed but glad I didn't pay the $100.00 for CIM.  I guess it really was a blessing in disguise that it filled before I registered.

I run. It's who I am. It's what I do.

I run.  It's who I am.  It's what I do. 

I realize that most people don't understand it.  I can't really explain it.   It's just a part of me.

My relationship with running started as a teenager.  It began like any typical teenage romance with an on again off again attitude.  But much like an older, more mature relationship it turned into a serious love affair as the years went by.  I began a regular daily run 10 years ago, long before it was fashionable to do so.  I did it on my own.  I did it for me and no one else.  I had no running partner and I made time for it not matter what else was on my plate for the day.  The kids grew older and it got tougher to fit it in but I have always managed to do so.  It's a part of me that I'm proud of.

When I realized last week that my hope of running CIM for a 2nd time would not happen this year I was angry.  And, I think a few of those close to me were surprised by my strong disappointment.  Now after a few days of reflection I realize that more than anything I am sad and afraid that it might never happen again.  You see I have a deep seeded need to run CIM and do it better than I did in 2008.  The need invades my dreams when I sleep and many of my waking moments.  I cannot escape the desire because hiding behind my wild mop of hair and goofy demeanor is a perfectionist who lurks on the edges of the OCD pool.  I know that's not pretty, the truth rarely is.  But it is what it is and I'd be lying if I tried to say it is anything else.

Tomorrow I will roll the dice of fate and return to the familiar office of my friendly HMO podiatrist Dr. N to see what my running future holds.  What will he say?  I have no idea and I am not even sure what I hope he will say.  I find that I'm forced to ask myself what is the lesser of two evils. That I have a wad of scar tissue that is causing moderate to severe discomfort and nothing can be done for it? Or that the tumor has somehow returned and I must once again undergo surgery?  Neither scenario is one I want to contemplate.  What I really want is for a fairy godmother to wave a magic wand and make the foot magically healed.  I want to go out for a run and just enjoy it, not spend the miles worrying if I'm causing irreparable damage or if it will be my last run.

So as I get ready to call it a night I'm asking for all of you to keep your fingers crossed form me tomorrow.  And it you happen to have a fairy godmother please send her my way.

Game Over

Bill called last night to tell me that the registration cap has been met for the 2010 California International Marathon (CIM).  Damn it.  Only 4 more days until I see Dr. N for a follow up.  I was waiting on his okay before taking on the challenge of 26.2 miles in the frigid December air.  Damn it, damn it all to hell. Obvisously I'm little more than upset about this.  There is a story behind this race and I'll post about it soon.  Bill did sign up as a relay team and being the great guy that he is he put me down as a member.  This is why I have such admiration for Bill.  He's just so darn thoughtful!

Ran what felt like an easy 4 this morning with Kim even though in my current state I was in no mood at all for a run.

Up tomorrow?  REST day!  Up Saturday?  15 miles with the group, maybe.

47

Nice 4.75 with Kim in the dark this morning.  Feeling a little sluggish.  I think it's just the weight of the CIM decision that's holding me down.

Up tomorrow?  4-5 miles

48

Each day I'm coming closer to the decision of not running CIM.  There is a very good possibility that the cap of 7,500 runners will be reached before my doctors appointment on the 26th.  I guess if that happens then the decision will be made for me. 

With only 48 days to go and the longest run I have to date is 13.1 I feel completely unprepared.  I also have the sinking feeling that the tumor is still in my foot and growing strong.  I'll post pictures later.

With that said I'll continue with the training until the doctor tells me otherwise.

No run again today but #3 and I had a nice evening walk with the dogs.

Up tomorrow?  5 miles dark and early with Kim

49

No run.  Nice 2 mile walk with the Hubs and the pooches.

50 days

Great day to take off.  Rained much of the afternoon.  The Hubs and I had lunch together and then went grocery shopping.  Not much of a date day but it was nice to go out without the kids.  Made baked potato soup for dinner and now I'm ready for bed!

Up tomorrow?  Easy 3

53, 52, 51

Took rest days on Thursday and Friday.  Just too much going on this week between work and the kids.

Today I had a really nice 11 mile run with friends.   I took it easy again today and averaged 11:30/mi.  We hit the lake at 6:30 AM and were privileged enough to witness a gorgeous sunrise.

Photo

The temperature was a very comfortable 60 at the start of the run and had only warmed to 65 by the end.  I was a little sad that I didn't have it in me to complete 22 miles with Bill today but I know it was best for my foot.  While I was in no extra pain this morning I was still in pain. 

Around mile 9 Bill told me he had something to show me at the end of my run.  He said it was a memorial but would not elaborate past that.  As we neared the memorial he pointed the way and instructed to me to "go sit on the bench".  I approached the bench I instantly recognized the significance of the bronze sculpture. 

Photo

I sat heavily on the bench and sobbed in the still autumn air.  The memorial is to honor the memory of 3 fallen Sheriff's Deputies whom my husband worked with.  Two of the deputies were killed and the third was critically injured when their helicopter crashed on the north shore of Lake Natoma in July 2005.  Though the accident happened 5 years ago I remember it like it was yesterday.  After several minutes I pulled myself together and started the short walk back to my car.  Bill and Dave were waiting along the path.  They knew I needed the privacy to sit with my thoughts and memories. It was an emotional end to my morning run but it reminded me that I need to count my blessings each day. 

Up tomorrow? REST day!

54

Rest day that really wasn't a rest day.  Up 30 minutes earlier than I would have been on a training day so I could get to work by 7:15.  Very tired this afternoon.

Up tomorrow?  4 or 5 easy miles

55

I'm baaaack!  After an 8 day break I had a great 5.5 mile (10:45)  run this morning. 

I'm still deliberating plunking down a c-note on CIM.  I want to run this race so badly, make my goal time and enjoy the finish line area.  But the fact of the matter is that none of this may happen.  After Urban Cow I had a lot of swelling in the surgery area.  Every day it seems the knot that remains there grows.   I've got an appointment in a couple weeks with the podiatrist that performed the surgery and we'll see what he thinks.  I've got my fingers crossed that it is just scar tissue and not the tumor making a repeat performance.

Up tomorrow?  Extra early day at work so no time for a morning run.  Heat is back which means I'll probably wimp out and not run in the evening either!

63 days to CIM

Rest day number two after Urban Cow.  Overall feeling great and rested.  The swelling in my foot has calmed down and I have minimal soreness in the rest of my legs. 

Up tomorrow?  An easy 2 or 3.

Urban Cow Half Marathon 10.03.2010

Where to begin? Well first off I finished! My official time was 2:30:30. Not my best time but not my worst either. Urban Cow was my 18th ½ marathon and yet I was as nervous as I was at my 1st back in October of 2006. It’s hard for me to believe that I’ve run so many of these events in such a short period of time. When I looked at my results to see how I’ve finished these 18 half marathons I found that I ran the EXACT same time at Urban Cow (then the Sacramento Cowtown) on October 7, 2007. It was the first time I ran this event. I then went on to PR at Cowtown twice with a 2:12:46 in 2008 and a 2:08:05 in 2009. Late last week Heather and I agreed to run the race together. I’m so happy we decided to stay together. Heather’s goal was to beat her finish time from last year and my goal was to just finish. We were both successful! Heather took over 6 minutes off her time and I made it to the finish line!
I started the morning off early picking up Kim and Heather and then heading off to the annual pre-race get together at Bill’s a few short blocks from the starting line. Bill is my friend, mentor and at times my coach.  As it has been for the last few years Bill and his wife Andrea invited a great group of runners of all levels to start the morning together. They are the most gracious hosts providing strong, hot coffee, bananas and the use of their bathroom.  I am so thankful for great friends like these!

Bill’s wife snapped this photo of Bill, his “harem” and Dave. Good times!

Walking to the start the air was chilly against my skin and the sky was filled with early fall cloud cover. Perfect running weather! What a relief! When the temps reached 100° early last week I was worried. It has been unseasonably cool here all summer and I haven’t spent any time training in the extreme heat.

Waiting for the race to begin

We ticked off the miles taking in the scenery and people watching. Let me tell you a race is a great place to people watch! We moved along at a fairly even pace for the better part of 10 miles. I was pleased that I felt minimal discomfort in my foot except for the first few warm up miles. After mile 10 we decided to run harder and take a few walk breaks. It felt good to stretch my legs out and push myself.

As we approached the finish line I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and pride. Even though I am no where as fast as I was just one year ago I was able to train for and run one of my favorite races. While the tendon surgery has taken its toll it hasn’t completely debilitated me and for that I am grateful.

The next two or three days will be recovery days. Days to let my body rest from the stresses I put on it during those 13.1 miles. As I take it easy I will be taking a long, hard look at how my foot feels and make the final decision about taking on CIM.

1/66

One day to go.  Nervous and excited.  No workout today.  Had a fabulous lunch with the girls and tonight celebrated my sisters birthday at Bucca Di Beppo.  I love that place! 

Up tomorrow?  13.1 miles of fun at the Urban Cow Half Marathon!!

Nighty night!

2/67

Rest day.  Got a foam roller and worked with it.  So painful.  I had pain in muscles I didn't even know I had.