What To Do?

To CIM or not is the question of the week.

A few years ago I had a goal set for a 4:30 marathon. I trained hard and I was on target to meet my goal. On the morning of the marathon I felt strong and was running well. If I could keep up the pace I was running I would cross the finish line approximately 10 minutes ahead of my goal time. But it was not meant to be. I sustained an injury to my right knee somewhere along the way. By mile 23 I was in severe pain and unable to run. I was only able to sort of walk/limp. I missed 4:30 by 17 minutes crossing the finish line in 4 hours 47 minutes. I was letdown. 4:47 is my personal best to this day but I know it’s not the best I can do.

I was barely able to make my way from the finish corral to my waiting family and friends. The pain was unbearable. After hobbling for a couple of blocks towards our car I gave up. I just could not go any further. Hubs went to the parking garage to retrieve the car while I waited in the cold December air with Debra, her daughter, and my boys.

I spent the rest of the day in bed taking massive doses of Ibuprofen and icing my knee. I called the advice nurse. She told me to just rest, after all I had just run 26.2 miles and I should expect to be sore. This was not my first go at the rodeo that is marathoning and knew that this was not the usual kind of soreness but did not push the issue. I slept on and off all afternoon and through the night. I had to have Hubs help me do everything including walking me to the bathroom which really involved him carrying me.

First thing Monday morning I called my doctor. She told me to come in right away. Hubs piled me into the car and took me in. The doctor gently moved my knee this way and that. She decided it must be a stress fracture and I was off to the X-ray Department. 30 minutes later we sat looking at the bright white bones of my lower right leg. A fracture could not be found but Doc was sure we were missing it so she scheduled me for an MRI and a consultation with a Sports Medicine doctor. I was fitted with a pair of crutches, given the paperwork to take 4 weeks off of work and sent home.

Over the next few days I tried to get in the Christmas spirit. I tottered around the house on the crutches while trying to decorate. I was bored and anxious. The MRI and the sports med appointment were a week away. Hubs took a couple days off of work and took me to the mall to knock out some Christmas shopping. I just wanted to be fixed and for the pain to go away.

Hubs took another day off of work and took me to see Sports Doc. I sat on the paper lined table as she moved the knee this way and that. She poked and prodded. She assessed I had weak quad muscles. Again we looked at the x-ray films, still searching for a hidden fracture. A little more poking and prodding and Sport Doc diagnosed a torn meniscus and “the worst case of bursitis” that she had ever seen, worse than 70 or 80 year old patients. Wow! Way to go me! She cancelled the MRI appointment and laid treatment out for me.

Treatment would be long and slow starting with a corticosteroid shot to the inflamed bursa. Not as bad as it sounds and it did bring some relief. Sport Doc referred me to Sport Therapist to rehab and strengthen the area. She prohibited me from excessive walking and absolutely no running. The tear in the meniscus was small and did not need surgery; the bursitis was the primary problem.

Rehab was a test in patience. I was forced to give up the one thing that is at once my addiction and my salvation. I hated the rehab exercises. They were monotonous and boring. I skipped workouts and cheated on the walking and running. I set myself back. I hated the look on Sport Doc’s face when I admitted I ran a couple miles just to see how it felt. The look of disapproval made me want to hide under a rock. I admitted to her that my goal was to run CIM again that year. Sport Doc told me in no uncertain terms that if I ran a full marathon 12 months after this colossal injury I would wind up back in her office and possibly be facing surgical repair of said knee.

I heeded her advice and let the notion go until 2010. All was going as planned and then the tumor appeared on Easter Sunday on the top of my right foot. It was not painful. It was just a lump staring up at me mockingly. The following day I was back in my primary physician’s office. She diagnosed a ganglion cyst and referred me to podiatry. A week later Pod Doc tells me that it must be surgically removed and recovery time would be 2 – 3 weeks. I underwent surgery to find that the cyst was actually a solid mass and had grown into the tendon in that area of my foot. Pod Doc had to cut out and remove a section of tendon. Not the news I wanted to hear. Recovery time was now projected to be 4 – 6 months. CIM had to come off the calendar for a second year. I followed his orders and 8 weeks after surgery I was given the go-ahead to slowly start running again. CIM was 4 months away. I put the race back on the calendar and began training.

October rolled around and I ran Urban Cow. My foot ached throughout the entire race, something was not right. I booked an appointment with Pod Doc. There was a painful lump that I had attributed to scar tissue. Pod Doc assessed the lump and the mobility of the foot and determined the tumor had grown back. A second surgery was scheduled. CIM was once again of the calendar. I was defeated and unhappy. The second surgery revealed a tumor and a tear in the tendon. My running career was on hold yet again.

In late January 2011 Pod Doc cleared me to run once again. I did not run. I was fearful. I could not face another surgery. Finally in late February I laced my shoes up and went for a run.

I have spent the last 8 months diligently training and have successfully completed my first full marathon in nearly 3 years however I am apprehensive about registering for CIM. I am not overly superstitious nevertheless I am shy about committing. Something about being so focused on this one event seems to be a bad omen.  I am mostly pain free and mostly injury free save for the toenail situation. Would running CIM lead to yet another injury? Should I just cut my losses and focus on Big Sur 2012?

I just don’t know.